These words I write on here are my diary. People will take these words and interpret them as they want. No one can control other peoples emotions or the way people perceive things. Its a hard reality to grasp as a millennial. No one teaches you these things because who wants to tell someone they can’t have it they’re way? All I have to say about that is that someone should have!
I realize more and more as I go on this journey of self healing and discovery that I am not going to recover what I lost with my ex. I am just going to let him go. Letting him go is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I lost my best friend, boyfriend, and a piece of my family all at the same time. You never expect it to be that way until you realize that you pick up the phone and the person you want to call, you can’t call anymore. The person you’re heading home to, is no longer there. Before you know it, you’re drowning in sadness and sorrow seeps into your mind and you’re depressed on your drive home.
It’s ok. This is normal. You’ll get through this rough patch. You will survive. Don’t think of the new memories he’s going to be making. Think about the new memories you will make with other people. Stop yourself from feeling the loss and fill the emptiness with laughter or desire. Delve into more then the superficial pain. You can’t ask for closure. Which is the worse part, I will control my emotions because I am stronger. He’s not trying to hurt you, he’s just trying to not feel the pain. He’s trying to escape. Don’t do what he does. Don’t try and escape. Face the pain, punch the bitch in the face and say you’ve had enough! Pain and fear will always be there until you get past it. You’re on a path and the main path will be scary and emotional, exciting and terrifying at times even. In order to grow however, one must persevere through the hardships and that is how you become stronger then the past you. Metamorphosis is change at its purest. Get stronger through sheer willpower. You wish him well and you wish yourself better. Be better, be braver, be a beautiful human being.